Love and Aggression

Portugal, May 2019

Last night i went to bed earlier and had no idea what had happened to Mirjam and Joseph in the middle of the night. Only this morning i found them both in one bed, humble and destroyed. They met those two german guys to have a last drink with,  around the corner , and suddenly the situation became aggressive and Mirjam was smashed on the floor in front of the house to be beaten up. Joseph was punched in the face. Alcohol had turned those guys into wild beasts.

Joseph and i went surfing in the morning while Mirjam was curing her injuries. Straight after coming out of the water, Joseph saw the aggressors on their balcony and i confronted them like a fury , still in wetsuit, but they ran to hide in the toilet. I was not able to get them out of there, screaming and shouting. So we left. They came to our house in the afternoon to apologize both on their knees in tears in front of Mirjam, ashamed and absolutely aware of the fatal error. Mirjam managed the situation cool headed with sovereignty. She made them feel even worse because of her tranquility and respectful attitude and wanted them to learn their lesson instead of running away with a tail between their legs. And so they went to the hospital together, bought enough painkillers to go through the bruised ribs situation and talked. A lot. 

One guy would later text Mirjam: „ I am incredibly thankful for your love“  

We went on with our days swimming in the pool, working on our laptops as we all came to surf and work, Joseph killing flies with the electric tennis racket and me preparing my exposé for the book project. Joseph‘s friend Virgin Mary arrived from Berlin to join us for a couple of days. 

The aggressors sat on the row behind in the plane on the way home to Berlin and took care of carrying Mirjam‘s luggage. Joseph managed everything else in Berlin and by then i had driven back from the airport to another house with pool to spend some days on my own. 

A story to remember

The Russians are coming

Beesenstedt, May 2019

We arrive on a Friday night and were received very warmly by Armin, the Castle’s owner, whose fiftieth birthday we will be celebrating during the entire weekend. Not only his but also Andrea’s birthday—-definitely not her fiftieth yet though. She visits quite often, whereas Mirjam and I had been here last time three years ago for the glorious and extravagant New Years Eve party.   

As Armin is married to a Russian lady, he speaks the language fluently—-as do his kids—-and he announces the arrival of his friends from Russia within the first five bottles of champagne. “Wait until the Russians come, girls” And so they did. Bringing dried fish, smoked meat, authentic branches of Wenik for the sauna, and lots of interesting vibrant conversation content to talk about all night. They even look gobsmacking: tall, healthy, and blue-eyed.

On Saturday the Berliners arrive and we sunbathe or swim in the nearby ice cold river Saale, to be prepared for the long night. Every now and then we get into the sauna to keep up with detox and the never-ending champagne refill. The food is absolutely thrilling and we all feel so nicely safe in our bubble world. Especially getting to know interesting people within a small crowd of guests in a huge place with so many rooms and things to discover. It’s a real pleasure. 

On Sunday, the Austrians arrive and not a single word is said about Ibizagate. 

What happens in the Castle stays in the Castle... 

Holy Trinity

Berlin, May 2019

My flatmate and brother from another mother has returned home after a three month work related travel in the States and South America. We last saw each other on the airport in Costa Rica in february and so happy to be together again. I called him up from the office on his arrival announcing that there are enough euros in my wooden desk box to help himself but absolutely nothing to drink or eat at home. The fridge was only doing its job for some ice cubes in the freezer and Wasabi paste tubes in the total empty compartments, ah yes, and some weird dried out animal ear from his haute cuisine seizures.

I came home around midnight after a business dinner and while brushing my teeth, Joseph arrived with a colorful entourage. There was no way i would go to bed and so we celebrated as usual. I did not go to work next day.

He had bought lots of supplies and i was really happy to grab a bottle next to my bed , gasping for sparkling water to run down my dry throat. The entourage of unicorns was still asleep as i was trying to figure out wether one girl was wearing a wig or the pink hair was human. And so i photographed her. 

Welcome back my glamour boy

A Taste of the Bee‘s Knees

Donaufestival in Krems (Austria) , May 2019

We have come back for this year‘s edition of the exquisitely well curated festival for independent experimental music in the small vineyard village of Krems by the Danube river in Austria.

Guitar noise, electronic noise, transhuman noise. All type of noises that one can imagine can be experienced from Sao Paolo, New York , Berlin etc. I especially enjoy the free jazz quintett of Irreversible Entaglements and drift away with Berlin‘s Band Apparat who explore an interrelationship of programmed sounds and analogue instruments. 

Hardcore Punk, Dub, Congolese rhythms with the stratified beats of the electronic avant-garde make my heart beat higher and higher. We feel so comfortable at this small festival with niche music lovers , cool people and good austrian white wine. After saturday‘s last concert we end up in a Volkswagen bus of two real austrian charming gentlemen from Salzburg, parked in the middle of the village‘s cobble stone marketplace, continuing with music, wine and a bit of kissing. It feels like being back in our twenties but much better fun with the naturalness and self confidence of our age and more money to buy only the good stuff (booze and luxury van version). At five am we stumble out in the rain towards the family run guest house with crucified Jesus Christ above our beds.

Next day we skip breakfast and start the day in the afternoon with Sacher cake listening to the next concert while laying on the heated floor of the venue‘s event which is a modernized church with exzellent sound system. The festival is closed at midnight by UK rapper Kate Tempest. Mr P has been a wonderful boyfriend this time as he had stepped back discretely since my Menorca hike. 

Good Boy

Of Cocks and Hens

Menorca, April 2019

Two identically looking cocks living in harmonious co-existence surrounded by their hens in the garden of my friends Pistolo and his brother Rafa. These roosters actually are like Pistolo and Rafa. I am glad even the animals are going with time and leave behind the oldschool role models.

Where as i had just gone through an interesting experience last night. Met a guy during an afternoon walk and we coincided again on the beach. He borrowed me his towel after a quick swim in the cold mediterranean spring waters and we arranged to meet for dinner later on. ( still need to finish this text..)

Egoism and Stubbornness

Menorca, April 2019

This is the most spontaneous trip i ever planned, deciding at eleven pm, booking the flight for next morning eight am and packing the backpack within ten minutes with all the necessities to camp in the woods or at the beach. Weather forecast is great and there is no doubt i won't have a great time. 

My body feels miserable and stiff after seven weeks of continuous city life since my Ramallah trip. Funnily enough i can't be disciplined to do sports or live healthy enough when in Berlin. Damn it. So i drink the last drop of Whiskey, smoke the last cigarette and fall asleep after sending a text message to my colleague from work to say i am off. Very egoistic of me, i know. Can't help it though. Not leaving major chaos or things undone behind of course , able to check work mails and resolve. Thank you Simone for keeping up with me. But i could not resist of taking advantage of four days off work plus one day i was supposed to support my colleague but flight options at this time of the year are not to choose but just to take. 

I arrive midday at Mahon, do the usual dry fruits , nuts and lemons shopping, fill up the water bottles from the former GDR military service and there i am back on track into the wilderness of the island‘s northern part walking along the so called Camí del Cavalls (horse trail). I get so excited and walk far faster than actually planned that i do the six day trail in three and a half. My body hurts but stubbornness does not hold me back from fulfilling a challenge. Nature is amazingly beautiful and rough, i am all alone as there is nobody around besides the local trail runners training for the next competition. 

Having finished earlier than expected in Ciutadella, i take a bus to the airport, hire a car and drive to my very good old friend‘s country house to spend two nights there on my own. Next day i swim in the nearby southern waters which seem like caribbean cristal clear blue and run the trails up and down. What a good choice i made.

Farewell Donkey!

Searching for Dopamine

Berlin, April 2019

Today, a journalist of a german weekly news magazine has come to see me in my kitchen to lead an interview on the blog and life with Parkinson. Had not gone out for a run in the park yet and still in my green morning gown with a coffee on the table. 

I discovered this wonderful powder delivered from India containing pure dopamin extracted from an asian plant with the latin term called Mucuna Pruriens. In order to be delivered to the brain it needs another component to pass the so called brain/blood barrier. Good thing is there is again a herbal plant taking over this role, mixed up in the powder.  Every now and then i mix a spoonful into my morning juice and feel its power on my body. Suddenly i can move as before and able to run a decent morning jogg without limping or delays in reaction. Yeah, it feels so amazingly good to run and jump and cycle and strech for a certain amount of time. Makes me so happy!

Though i don't wanna get depending on this white powder that airport security would for sure take away from me. My dopamine producing nerve cells are slowly imploding and dissapearing in my brain. But if i feed my brain with external dopamine, my few cells alive become lazy and produce less of that so beloved and precious neurotransmitter.  Thank god i don't have an affinity to any kind of addiction and able to control myself. So no special added juice today. 

But no restrictions in search for endorphines. Lets see what the day brings. Yes!

Extravaganza

Hamburg, March 2019

Every time after visiting a fetish sex party i go home a little dissapointed. Funnily enough , most of the crowd is boring and with a broomstick up their bottom. It seems as they spend so much time in preparation of their outfit that they have no fun in jumping or partying around to get lost and be at ease. You see them constantly walking around through the different rooms and stairways of the venue but no words to be exchanged or any smile to get a first impression of flirt.  One has the feeling of being a voyeur of the voyeurs. Under different circumstances one would say they are doing window shopping in a wandering hall. I only like the men in elegant suits but most of them walk hand in hand with their partners very close a step behind.

On my body i can feel the eyes of a creepy man with a jelly belly hidden under the latex suit making me change the room to dig into the dark sound of hard electronical music in the cellar. I can see people giving blow jobs or having sex in the corners, no matter if hetero-,  bi- or transsexual. It makes me feel much more comfortable as everyone is following their needs with a relaxed and self confident attitude. 

I have been taken and invited by my friend and her crowd who reign the nights of Hamburg at the infamous Reeperbahn. They look extravagant and outstanding in their wigs and twenty centimeter high heels with shoe size starting by fourty two. I had to be putten on the make-up as no clue what so ever concerning the look of show and glamour. My friend suddely sprays something sticky all over my face to keep the make-up fixed on , in case i decide to run a marathon the stairs up and down. 

At the end i have a great time sitting next to the security guy who tells me all the stories of the hood while smoking a cigarette and observing the scenery passing by right in front of my face. I am so small anyway as can only wear red sneakers to my outfit, though with a huge black fascinator on my head. Great to be here but happy to get home to sleep. Alone.

Rock ‘n Ramallah

Westbank, March 2019

Selecting the appropriate country where to learn arabic was not easy. Finally the decision fell on a place i constantly read about in the news but have no clue what is like in situ. 

The only foreigners i see around either work in NGO‘s in East Jerusalem and Ramallah or belong to educational group tours both through Israel and Palestine. In fact , every german foundation or institution of almost all political parties is represented here. Quite amazing. I left my chain with a Star of David at home. Whereever you go , even the lightest conversation becomes a political discussion, unfortunately either black or white but never grey , as long as i could hear so far. 

My days are filled with going to school in the mornings and trying to keep warm in the afternoons. Did not bring any jacket and had to buy gloves and a wollen hat. The windy and rainy cold gets into my bones and I sleep fully dressed in my hostels bed. Not the best thing for Parkinsons as shaking like mad while writing down the alphabet with a trembling pencil.  Good thing is i drink hot tea all day and study. The market below the hostel has great vegetables and fruits and i love the humus and falafel made by little street food restaurants. 

There is supposed to be a great hiking possibility in the country side but i did not have the chance to taste that adventure. Instead it took me a very long time passing through the check points and being held at Ben Gurion airport for hours. I guess they tought i was an activist as they saw my travel to Sinai in november last year and could not believe i wanted to learn the arabic language especially in „ Palestine“ and not somewhere else in any other arabic speaking country. Well, that is still nothing in comparism to the palestinian commuters going to work every day to Jerusalem or anywhere else out of the zone. I am not in the position to judge or testify as i am just a tourist going through an interesting experience , to be continued... 

Inshallah

Print ‘s not dead. But very soon.

Berlin, February 2019

A few days ago, another announcent of changes within the journalistic publishing sector in Germany has hit the news and one slowly gets prepared to the disappearance of print media. So the big question is how to survive in the future if all i have learned and practiced was working in traditional media?

Every day i keep watching the progression on the construction site of the new Axel Springer Campus , designed by the architect team of Rem Koolhaas. It is the beginning of an era with exclusively digital content. I must confess to be a digital consumer myself and to have stopped subscriptions of various magazines having read slowly on the loo, train rides or flights. 

Nevertheless , changes are for good and we need to get our act together. The huge amount of daily digital mass of information just needs to be more carefully selected instead of devouring it all. Now, how do we select? First of all choose a newsletter you like that preselects for you already, fishing the most interesting silent and loud stories or features within the news of the world. The actuality is covered anyway by every single media and impossible not to read about. I really like the german community of independent journalists called Krautreporter sending daily newsletters both with their own created stories and the best on actuality within international media. Further on i receive a PDF document of the weekly New York Times magazine , plus newsletters of my favourite german daily and weekly newspapers in addition to the apps on the phone. I stopped scrolling through Facebook and follow my content of interest at Twitter. In fact , there i found some other Parkinson‘s like me with another approach than the usual depressing one. So that is it. No more time for print media, damn it! 

Rip Curl or Rib Girl?

Costa Rica, February 2019

Two months ago, when in Rio, i had an accident during paragliding as went through a very rough landing on my rib cage on a rocky hill which , thank god, did not brake but suffered a major painful injury. Lucky me.

Two days ago, i fell from the surf board after maintaining on a really long left wave and hurt myself again with same effect. Means i can not go back onto board paddling out without screaming and crying of pain. Damn. Tried it twice until had to be dragged out by my teacher‘s leash like a stranded whale. So what do you do on a hot surf spot during high season where everybody surfs and drinks at night when you are on heavy painkillers? You go and work at airconditioned coworking spaces in the jungle or hike towards secret fisherman‘s beaches. 

My super smart ass brother Joseph is coding me a website within minutes i can‘t even follow the typing and page swiping. So here i am finally emerging a business i was planning for a couple of months in order to live the life as a digital nomad, a decade later after the trend had started. Joseph studied internet marketing besides maths and gives me one valuable advice after another. If you have a good idea to proceed it is never too late to jump on a running horse, right? 

It will still take me some time to figure out the legal part of it but all excited to become an entrepreneur and follow the swarm. All my life i seeked for individualism and outstandingness, now i want only to have fun and chill. It‘s the Zeitgeist of my bubble world generation , nothing else. And to have a swollen rib is nothing but normal within a sporty and adventure orientated crowd seeking for the next thrill aswell as nicely shaped booties. 

Go with the flow 

Pura Vida in Luxuria or loosing intellect

Santa Teresa, Costa Rica, January 2019

If we think precisely about the seven sins of mankind, there is a smaller or bigger percentage of each one of them in our guts. It is just a matter of honesty to one self to choose. And within our familiar trinity we definitely put Luxuria on the very first place,  Invidia and Avaritia at the bottom end.  

Guggi, Joseph and i meet at San José Airport coming from Rio, Miami and Berlin to drive with a rental jeep to the beach, and to be arriving around midnight at Eli Zarka‘s home. He is a wonderful host to us and we are gobsmacked about the beautiful place with pool and ocean view we will be living in for the next two weeks as the booked apartement is still under construction. It perfectly suits the circumstance of my 44th birthday that same day of travelling. 

It is exciting to see how Joseph is improving so fast in his surfing skills as he is doing this for the first time ever. Guggi is naturally talented to be sporty, agil and acrobatic , therefor it is wonderful to watch her progression and joy. I am so proud of my darling sister and my glamour boy, our brother from another mother.

I have started running again, at least on tip toes in the sand at low tide during sun rise. Sometimes i think back of how invincible and strong i felt before Mr P came into my life. The sin of Superbia had been placed very close to Luxuria i guess. Now i only hear my Osteopath‘s words saying: If the body becomes ill, the soul will heal. I dont care  about my vulnerability anymore.

We spend the days relaxing after morning surf sessions , hanging around at the pool or the beach and enjoying each other‘s company. Joseph keeps on working every day as a digital nomad and Guggi talks to her twin boys via Face Time. I totally forgot to bring a book to read , so is the chess board laying untouched on the shelf. Meaning i have enough time to think about present , past and future. What will 2019 bring and what are my goals to fulfill. 

Got to be very careful not to neglect intellectual challenges within this happy sunshine life because a satisfying profession should not be the only thing to cover the necessity for gaining knowledge and wisdom. Unfortunately i have become far too lazy in this aspect. Prefer to have a Yoga class instead or watch israelian or spanish Netflix series. We do meet quite a few people who exchanged their life in a corsage for freedom and health as surf or yoga instructors but I never found anyone to play chess with. I keep hearing that the snow is white and the water is wet.

Off to yoga class now...

God save the glam

Berlin, December 2018

En Vogue

Rio de Janeiro, December 2018

Looks like Naomi, Cindy and Claudia are having a comeback as Oldies but Goldies. 

In fact we never had a picture taken all together since childhood times. These days it is difficult anyway as living in different places or continuously travelling. So we are overwhelmed by having the perfect christmas present for our mom this year. 

Kids are with their father this weekend and we go partying , detoxing and sunbathing under the cloudy and rainy sky. We don't give a shit about anything and enjoy sisterhood to the max feeling absolutely self sufficient getting lost in Oxymoromania. 

Theo and Noah

Rio de Janeiro, December 2018

Kids grow too fast. Saw them last this year beginning of march. Deborah had arrived already ten days before so they clinge on her like little monkeys. It is first time ever that the twin boys and us three sisters are together and , to be honest, we sometimes behave more childish then them. So much love and laugh in the air , hardly bearable. They run and climb and babble their first words, always with full energy up to the max. It is fascinating to have the first males in the pure female family. So exotic. 

Deborah is a really cool auntie. I am a little more brutal with the boys and search for their boundaries, same as they do with us when screeming and shouting in order to take advantage of adult's patience. Next moment we find ourselfs kissing them almost to death when receiving these wide open eye looks and innocent smiles. Thank god they still dont understand anything of our super dirty sister bitch talk. 

Deborah and i adore to be aunties. On the other hand reliefed of not having kids. It is bullshit to say that a woman ends up lonely and bitter if choosing a life without own brood. In my case i can only feel lucky to be alone. How horrible to leave young kids behind.  

Bitches forever

Stoned Immaculate

Blue Lagoon, Sinai, November 2018

I met the group of young Israelis at the border from Israel to Sinai. We travelled on the same Minibus towards Nuweiba and would stay together for the next three days until my departure from Dahab back to the border and home to Berlin.  

I must say, it was one of the most interesting experiences within the last couple of years of travelling i have had. As i adapted completely to life of early twenty year olds who had finished the army service not too long ago and find themselves at an important stage of decisions in their life or still suffering from the consequences of being a combat soldier, i felt blessed of being a witness in their search for own identity and desperate hunger for life. 

They smoked dope like chimneys, took LSD in the morning and went snorkelling in the Red Sea, talked nonstop and still enjoyed the stunning beauty of raw nature at the remote places they took me to. We stayed in different huts by the beach every night, sleeping all together as far as we could fit in the huts , run by the Bedouine family members living there.

I listened to their doubts, future plans, their idealistic view of life , their empathy for sharing and caring, politness and need for hugs, gave advice here and there, answered their questions about my adventurous life and , above all, gained friendship on the road no matter if you meet again or not. 

In big admiration for what they have gone through already, i enjoyed their group dynamic, their power and purity of soul. Will be delighted to receive them in Berlin one day. 

In memory of youth

Mission not accomplished

Negev Desert, Israel November 2018

Never been to Israel. Therefore i decided to learn about it by foot, as p usually do with to me unknown countries. With only a week time i thought it woud be a challenge to start the National Israel Trail called SHVIL from the south which is more uncommon than starting at the syrian/lebanese border in the north. 

I prepared my water supply for three days as there was nothing but mountains, rocks , sand and wadis out there. This ment to carry fifteen liters plus my ten kilos of backpack and it almost killed me when climbing up and down the rocks. I never usually carry more than sixteen kilos with me. There was a stage when i had to give up and returned. No way i could climb down that super steap and narrow stone farrow. I was devastated  by the fact that i failed in fullfilling my plan of hiking a full week. Anyway, good thing is i completely neglected my ever so loyal new bofriend Mr P. as it had been a bit challenging and exhausting to give him attention. My body needed to function following the brain's instructions. 

Decision was made to walk to the mainroad and hitchhike towards the border in Taba. Once passing through all the checkpoints and paying fees, i stepped on to egyptian soil in Sinai. Had not been there since 1997, when crossing the desert getting completely lost. Still got the camel teeth i found on its cadaver back then. A Minibus takes me and a crowd of very young Israelis to Nuweiba to the beach. I dont understand a single word of hebro but can get by a little with my poor arabic. A new adventure to begin... 

Shalom

Freakylandia in little Las Vegas

Benidorm, November 2018

Fifteen years have gone by since i attended the first Wild Weekend Festival, organized by an australian dude who won in the lottery and decided to spend his money on gathering people to celebrate a four day event, to worship the era of sixties trash garage punk in every aspect. 

So here i am back again with my great friend Xaro aka Lolita Cañon from Valencia and a few other spanish Rock Stars from Berlin, to wake up from the dead every day after party night out in an old 70ties discoteque, situated in the backstreets of Benidorm known as the glamorous plastic phantastic city for the wrinkly and bronzé Oldies-but-Goldies. The live acts are amazing with bands coming from all over the world and the crowd is extatic, amongst them a few that had actually listened to the music already in the sixties. Hipshaking Go-Go Girls on elevated items make everybody sweat in tears of joy.

Endless Summer

Brandenburg, October 2018

It's incedible how climate change has affected northern Europe this year.  My ritual of having the last swim of the year in exactly this lake was an easy job this time as the water was unexpectedly warm and tender. 

I shared a piece of land with my ex husband nearby and the evening run around the lake was my high light before starting fire on the grill under the huge oak tree. This lake is still a secret spot as usually all the rest of lakes in north-eastern part of the city are highly frequented by Berliners seeking for wild nature. 

This area in Germany is definitely one of my favourites as it has this air of the Mediterranean due to the pine forest and sandy soil. It is only about two hundres kilometers away from the Baltic Sea. Everyone raves on about Bavaria i know, but not my cup of tea at all thus the Alps in front of Munich's doorstep. Lived there aswell as a teenager and, to be honest, it was the most boring and unsexiest time of my life. Left that town twenty years old in 1995 and the big love story with Berlin had begun, never to be fading away. Had a little gap when left to Madrid for five years , shortly after the Helmut Kohl era had finished and the social democrats in coalition with the green party had taken over. I remember the huge party celebrations the night of the elections. Actually, the whole decade of the nineties was nothing but party, enjoying the city as a big playground. So happy to have been for once in the right place at the right time , after growing up amongst Hippies telling endless stories about the 60ties and 70ties. While in Madrid , everyone raved on about the 80ties , Post-Franco time and the so called Movida Madrileña, most exiting time in new born democracy. 

I dont like the idea at all of 'everything was better before'.  Even now my generation complains about the changes in gentrification , the tourist swarms and expats flooding Berlin. I think it is always good to move on and nutrivate from the present and future, accepting new ideas and experiments , staying flexible. Otherwise we stand still and become grumpy old couch potatoes awaiting the result of elections in Bavaria tonight.

Wild Boys and Wild Waters

Portugal, Oktober 2018

Zé Nuno was my first teacher initiating me to surf three years ago, when escaping from a claustrophobic Yoga Camp i had initially booked myself in to. Him and his partner Jeffrey had just started their own surfschool Boa Onda. They were so patient dealing with us total beginners laying in the sand on the board trying to practice the pop up looking like inmobile stranded whales. It was even worse getting something together in the white waters. Amazing how i made it up to now into the green waves still as a greenhorn beginner, him giving me the same instructions over and over again. What a work of Sysiphos. It is so admirable to see people enjoying their jobs , putting so much effort in it and being passionate and happy to see their results in progress. Ibon is on the surfschool team since this year aswell as they are doing really well in expanding. 

They must be so exhausted by the end of the season, not wanting to see a single tourist for the next five or six month during winter time. Then off travelling with friends to surf in Sumatra or simply enjoying family and quality time in this wonderful place declared natural park. I had been here already in the winter once or twice. 

I adore being in the water no matter under what conditions either catching waves or not and i dont even care anymore. Wild waters wake you up when feeling panic of drownding or loosing energy as you get smashed by the washing machine waves, paddling with last strength in your arms away from the hot zone.

Zé Nuno found out through this blog about Mr P and i love the fact that he does not ask any questions. Tomorrow is always another day to try out your best , he just said. That is exactly what i will do until it is not possible anymore.

My initial plan to buy a pice of land in this area a bit more inwards into the mountains has been vanished away although i really fell in love with this area. But want to keep it simple with little responsibilities and duties to be able to discover even more of the rest of the world. 

Sun has just dissapeared in the Atlantic Ocean and i am opening a bottle of Vinho Verde.